The Golden Age of Comics was a simpler time. Men were men, women were women. It was clear who the villains were, and what superheroes needed to do to make there be justice in the world. Superman went to his Fortress of Solitude to get stuff to do battle with evil, and he and Lois waited patiently until they were married to have sex because it was the right thing to do. Super heroes were meat-eating, patriotic, uncomplicated symbols of justice. Some great turns of phrase came out of that simpler era in comic book history. Here, listed below, are just a few of them.
1.
Holy smokes!
2.
Zowie!
3.
Fuck me in my pockets, it’s the Joker!
4.
Harumph!
5.
I’m delivering you to Lady Justice!
6.
Hey Black Cat, your boobs look really fit!
7.
You knave!
8.
You scoundrel!
9.
This is one Kike of a pickle we’ve got here! (For a brief period from 1944-1949, The Incredible Hulk was pretty anti-Semitic.)
10.
I don’t think so, Chump!
11.
Nothing feels so good going down as the cool smoke from a pack of Parliaments, isn’t that right Green Arrow! (Often, in the ’50s, Superheroes made side income shilling for various products.)
12.
Reefer, eh? I’ve seen you sink to some real lows Lex Luthor, but I never thought I’d see this.
13.
Alright Justice League, let’s go fight some crime. Wonder Woman, remember for while we’re gone, I like my pancakes with just a hint of blue cornmeal.
14.
Superdog, Streaky the Supercat, Superchimp, come with me, and by the way, I am in no way embarrassed by you whatsoever.
15.
I’m gonna go in knuckle-deep! (Spider-man would often shout this, completely oblivious to how uncomfortable it made Gwen Stacy.)
16.
Electro is stealing from a bank?! Is he crazy? Why would anyone want to hurt a bank, they’ve done so much good for us all!
17.
Black Panther: “Here are the necessary forms. I’ve made a good deal of money being a Superhero, and I’d like to apply for a small business loan.” Loan Officer: *clearing throat nervously* “Yes. Well, I don’t think I can help you.”
18.
Crime doesn’t pay! Well, blue-collar crime that is.
19.
You’re going up the river, Dr. Doom! I know you’re just eating dinner, but vegetarianism is a sure sign of homosexuality! And last time I checked homosexuality was still a class-A felony, or my name’s not Mr. Fantastic!
20.
In the name of Christianity, the only true religion, I implore you to turn yourself in Riddler!
21.
Captain America: “Alright, Avengers, let’s open up our secret government orders and see what super villain we’re stopping today. *envelope opening noises* Oh my God. Oh my dear lord.” Ant-Man: “What does it say Captain America?” Captain America: “John F. Kennedy. President Kennedy.” Namor: “By Poseidon’s coral-covered fists!” Captain America: “Well, if the government says to do it, they must have a good reason, come on boys.” Ant-Man: “But Cap!” Captain America: “I said, come on boys.” *hesitant shuffling, then the sound of everyone getting into their Avenger jet. Grim resignation to the task ahead settles in. Ant-Man can be heard to softly weep as he loads his gun full of poison ants.*
Comments
my thoughts
January 22nd, 2010 - 2:31:28 PM
ugh. seriously.
1
CAREYCohen30
February 9th, 2012 - 9:24:25 AM
If you are in uncomfortable position and have got no cash to go out from that, you would need to take the credit loans. Just because that should aid you emphatically. I get secured loan every time I need and feel good because of it.
2