Of course you do. You want to live in a low-rent Disney movie just as much as I do. Where the plates can sing songs, dance, and tell you, “SLOW DOWN, FATTY.”
They’ve invented a plate that can do one of those. Guess which one it is. Just guess. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the singing and dancing, it’s the gorging on calories. It’s called the Mandometer, and it will hopefully help you get skinny by constantly reminding you that you eat your food way too quickly. They’ve basically invented an Italian mother trapped in the body of a technophile’s plate. I LOVE the reality that we live in.
How does it know you’re eating too fast, other than the obvious signs of sputtering and choking? It weighs your food, then compares the rate you’re consuming it to a healthy ratio. If the ratios mismatch, it’ll raise its voice, and then hit you. Conceivably. I hope. It’s also going to be used to combat eating disorders and one day, fat robot uprisings.
It’s amazing. Not even a year ago, all the plates I had were incapable of speaking, and here comes the future. All dolled up with sandwiches and accouterments. Talking plates. And soon we’re going to have talking placemats, if you’re into the Apple tablet.
Find out all about it here.
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