We finally did it, boys. The ultimate dream of every super villain ever will soon be a reality because we figured out a way to kill the universe. I give you, SPACE GUN!!!! Actually, it’s a cheap and efficient means of launching supplies into orbit, but how fucking cool would it be if we built and and fired the thing and then the sky just starts bleeding everywhere, some booming voice screaming “GOD DAMMIT! What the fuck did you do that for?” I would really love that.
I digress. The space gun itself is a simple half-mile long tube that floats in the ocean. Boring, right? It would be, except the man behind space gun, physicist John Hunter, succeeded in shooting shit at 13,000 miles per hour, which is precisely where my idea for a space trebuchet fell apart. John still fucked the pooch in my eyes though, because his little pet project generates 5,000 Gs, which would pretty much melt you if you happened to try and hitch a ride on the payload.
If you read comics like I never do, you perchance might note that John Hunter may very probably be a fan of artist John Cassaday, and without a doubt you will condemn John Hunter as a plagiarist. That’s because Cassaday has drawn at least two titles where space guns play very prominent roles in the story line, namely Planetary and Astonishing X-men. I attribute the idea of the space gun to Cassaday and not the writers because, speaking from experience, I know that writers don’t do shit. Plus I’ve never heard of Joss Whedon.
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