Breaking News: People Want To Smoke Pot

By Mark Lorenz on January 19th, 2010

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A lot of people love pot. A lot of people. More people than I originally thought love pot, and want to bring pot into your homes. I welcome this new development, with pot-enthusiastic arms.

A decade ago, this would’ve been unthinkable. The boomers would still’ve been sitting in their chairs high above everyone else, passively passing judgment on people.

ABC did a survey, and the results are eighty percent of people want to decriminalize marijuana. Eighty percent. That means if you see ten people in the street, eight of them would want to get high. And the other two would probably be getting high. Or trying to sell you pot. This is the world as it will be ten years from now. A drug-fueled, pot loving wasteland. Like Mad Max, with more dreadlocks. Only twenty-three percent of senior citizens think that the drug should be legalized, however, that jumps to 51 percent under the age of 65.

New Jersey will be the 14^th state to legalize medical marijuana, and it’ll happen this week. Which should terrify you. Think of stereotypical New Jersey people able to get their hands on drugs. Wait, come to think of it, it wouldn’t be any worse than us crazy Californians. Sitting around, smoking all day, making movies about blue aliens.

This article may be brief, but it certainly isn’t for eight out of ten people.