Who can bring the cray-cray? SuBo can bring the cray-cray. Now take this gun, before I start sounding like Juno.
Susan Boyle had a helluva 2009. She came from nowhere to almost outselling inoffensive, squinty-eyed country darling Taylor Swift in just a few months. Also, she’s out of her mind. It’s not her fault, it’s the kind of crazy that you can only get from being in isolation with cats coupled with an already fragile mind. That’s the status of the pop world. If you want manufactured crazy, go to Lady Gaga. If you want real crazy, you call in Susan Boyle.
And somebody called in Susan Boyle’s crazy over the top weekend. No word on whether or not this was confirmed, but these visuals need to be reprinted. If they’re true, awesome, if they’re not, that’s one imaginative tabloid copy editor. Apparently at Heathrow airport, Susan Boyle was shouting obscenities at people who were waiting to board a plane. Then she grabbed a mop and started singing into it like a microphone, then shined some people’s shoes in line with the aforementioned mop, then bolted away, shouting, “I’ve escaped! I’ve escaped!”
I’d like to see you try to top that, contemporary pop stars. Seriously. Boyle will appear on Oprah this Tuesday.
Your move, George Michael.