Not since Mallory Lewis decided to carry on her dead mother’s ventriloquist act have I been this disgusted with what a human being decided to force into a sheep. Your favorite semi-legitimate Russian news outlet, Pravda.ru, is reporting that a sheep in Turkey gave birth to a still-born lamb with a human face. Wait… still-born? Shit yes! Apocalypse averted!
Now, even though it’s obvious that God killed the demon chimera because it was too unholy to be allowed to live, science is trying to pass the beast off as a run-of-the-mill mutation, citing an over-abundance of vitamin A in the mother’s diet. Cripes, science, when were you going to tell me that too much vitamin A can result in horribly mutated babies? Since this is the first time I’m hearing about such a causal link, I’m choosing to ignore it, assuming you made it up.
If you follow human/animal hybrid news–Mr. Hands I’m looking at you–then you probably remember a story from last year about a goat-boy born in Zimbabwe. The residents of the village in which that creature was born were proactive, quick to kill and burn the remains of goat-boy, eradicating its evil from the face of the Earth before science could get its greasy mitts on it and start spinning lies. Kudos, Zimbabwanites.
Whether ol’ sheepy-weepy was sired by demons, space aliens, or a heartbreakingly lonely drunk remains to be seen–the father is understandably reluctant to step forward. I would question what sort of mind could possibly commit such an atrocity, but it seems anybody can fall prey to the charms of a sultry sheep given the right circumstances…
(Photo Via: Feltworks)
Comments
Craig
January 15th, 2010 - 4:27:59 PM
"The residents of the village in which that creature was born were proactive, quick to kill and burn the remains of goat-boy, eradicating its evil from the face of the Earth before science could get its greasy mitts on it and start spinning lies." You have to be joking. Seriously, something as bizarre as this is better to have been destroyed than studied? How are we supposed to learn new things about the world around us if we just summarily destroy things we don't understand and claim that they're evil? Wow. So much for progressing, growing and learning. If we don't understand it, destroy it? Please. Stop writing.
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Craig
January 15th, 2010 - 4:30:53 PM
Or... please god tell me your sarcasm is so dry that I missed it.
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Johnne
January 15th, 2010 - 4:37:22 PM
seconded. and lol at science spinning lies.
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jaxi
January 16th, 2010 - 11:01:27 AM
having a genetics background i can say that it is almost impossible that the lamb born with a human face is the result of a man impregnating a sheep. the genetic codes are far to different for that to ever take place, it wouldn't make it past mitosis, much less form the animal as well as it did, even if still born. having said that it makes me wonder of the other reason. Haiti suffered horrific earthquake, there is the wrath of the lamb that comes to mind. Haiti practiced voodoo, so did New Orleans. It just makes you wonder, has the sixth seal as said in the book of revelations been broken? will there be plague that results of the deaths in Haiti. May God bless humanity, as a scientist i'm usually a skeptic, but I really don't find explanations for all of this.
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vor
January 18th, 2010 - 2:27:01 PM
Congratulations you have presented a shining example of Poe's Law. Vitamin A is one of the most well known causes for birth defects the following quote is the result of a 3 second google search: The risk of birth defects from getting too much vitamin A is also the reason that pregnant women and those trying to conceive should stay away from the prescription acne drug isotretinoin (also known by the brand name Accutane, among others) and other drugs related to retinol (a compound of vitamin A).
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Steve
January 18th, 2010 - 3:43:28 PM
Yes there was another instance in bestiality between man and pig. And the specimen was named Mohammed...
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jeff
January 19th, 2010 - 1:23:30 PM
There was another case of bestiality long time ago in these parts of the Muslim world. But was with a PIG. The specimen actually leaved a healthy life and become quite a prominent personality as well. His name was Mohamed (more-ham-ed).
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sal
January 19th, 2010 - 6:18:13 PM
and if anyone really knows how Accutane works they would know that it mainly causes mutations in FORMATION and in number. the specimen was well formed but with the traits of another species, and the number factor was not an issue, the sheep did not have six legs or two heads, etc. as is often the case with an over abundance of Vitamin A. maybe a 6 second google search would have clarified THAT perspective.
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vince
January 19th, 2010 - 8:33:06 PM
guys, guys can't we all get along? Seriously, bravo! applause, applause! why didn't that Poe example touch on the idea of too much vitamin A, (accutane, retinol etc...)? maybe he didn't learn that in all his years of study? shucks, maybe we should all be graduates with high honors from Google U(vor). y the hell go to school, pay so much and not even go into the role vitamin a plays in genetics? Hmmm? OR maybe he already knows that was NOT a factor, omitted touching on it, and decided to express an OPINION.
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Ikaruga
January 19th, 2010 - 10:00:27 PM
It's a damn shame that they didn't burn this potential scientific phenomena because we clearly don't deserve it; these sad sacks, as well as future readers, don't know how to properly enjoy the sweet nectar of sarcasm...
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Butterscotch
January 19th, 2010 - 10:02:27 PM
Ah, it's a shame that sarcasm has become a dying art.
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B. Stallion
January 19th, 2010 - 10:03:06 PM
A DAMN shame indeed....
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kyle
January 31st, 2010 - 8:02:51 AM
Hilariously written sick/sad subject.
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