Team Conan Unite, Plus Leno’s Other Follies

By Daniel Dominguez on January 14th, 2010

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Conan O’ Brien may be the victim of media giants churning like continental shelves meeting and breaking, but that doesn’t he has to lay down and face his fate. The man has inspired a comedic generation, from his stint on arguably the best years of “The Simpsons” to his brilliant writers and staff and amazing flexible creativity on his late night shows, Conan O’ Brien has taught us all to flow freely with all the zaniness we can muster. Now he’s being ousted by a flagging network that has no bearings, and TEAM COCO has arisen. A group of thousands of fans and well-wishers has come together to rally behind the strangely tall comedian and lend their voice to Conan in his hour of need. Similar to the thousands of who came to support Martin Luther King Jr.’s march on Selma, Alabama, except way less significant, and in every way different than that situation, the fans are speaking. Jay Leno already fumbled when he took his show to 10pm, cutting down hundreds of potential industry jobs and turning the 10pm slot on NBC into his new serfdom, now together he and NBC are storming of the gates of the Tonight Show to take it back from Conan O’ Brien, so early into his kingship he hadn’t even had a chance to establish himself.

But this isn’t the first time Leno has replaced someone on NBC’s behest, only to have it not go so well. Below is a list of the top 4 worst places NBC has dropped Jay Leno.

1. Cheers

For a brief period in 1986, Leno replaced Kirstie Alley as Sam’s love interest on “Cheers” when Kirstie went on hiatus to have a baby. Fans reacted with disdain as Leno’s trademark conciliatory wit simply couldn’t couldn’t compare to Alley’s acerbic responses to Sam’s romantic pleas. Eventually the network killed off Leno’s character by having he and Sam go on a romantic cruise where Leno fell off the edge of the boat during a moment of courting and got washed away by the sea.

2. The Biggest Loser

Fans argued that having Leno be a contestant on “The Biggest Loser” made no sense, as Leno isn’t unusually heavy, making the competition so heavily weighted in his favor that there would essentially be no competition. When Leno went on to lose enough weight to claim victory by the second episode of the season judges had to concede victory to Leno and end the show a mere two episodes into their three season run. The worst part was that Leno’s chin became so sharp after the weight loss that, while walking through the studio lot back to his car, turning toward the sound of someone calling after him, he accidentally cut Zachary Levi clean in half.

3. Law & Order: SVU.

Deciding that they needed to add a third detective to the team, NBC turned to Leno to fill out the roster. Jay Leno’s strange high-pitched giggling was always terrifying, but it was all the more so when it would burst out at inappropriate times during one of the show’s trademark grisly investigations. Example:

Det. Elliot Stabler
He raped her both before, and after, he murdered her.

Det. Leno
* Strange high-pitched giggling*

Det. Olivia Benson
He carved a cavity into her here, here, and here. The knife he used was dull.

Det. Leno
*Strange, high-pitched giggling*

Det. Elliot Stabler
Is there something funny, Detective Leno?

Det. Leno
*Strange high-pitched giggling* No, no… it’s just… I get… nervous.

Det. Elliot Stabler
Well, try to control it, goddamnit. Anyway, her mouth is frozen open, making it obvious she died screaming.

Det. Leno
*Louder high-pitched giggling*

Det. Olivia Benson
Screw this! I’m outta here!

4. Friday Night Lights.

Leno was brought into “Friday Night Lights” when the ratings began to slip, and NBC executives thought they could give the show a much needed boost by giving the team a well-known celebrity quarterback. While the strategy did initially boost ratings, Leno’s lack of physical prowess, strength, and general weak frame turned ratings into tragedy when during a staged tackle Leno was so badly hurt that he exploded, sending chunks of flying Leno meat everywhere. His blood and meat ruined a very expensive HD camera, horrified viewers, and permanently damaged the psyche of hot young actor Zach Gilford, who had to leave acting forever after witnessing the accident, and take up a job on an Alaskan crabbing vessel. He was never seen again.

Leno however was stitched back together as best as they could by the brilliant NBC medical team, which is why on his 10pm show he has so many scars, and his arm hangs limply in the middle of his chest.

(Photo Via: Mashable)