You want to see Lindsay Lohan naked? Of course you do. You want to see Lindsay Lohan having sex? You’ve got nothing to do right now. So why not?
You’re going to have to wait a bit. But chances are, not too long. Because Lindsay Lohan loves the sex, and apparently made the mistake of putting it on camera. And Lindsay Lohan’s friends are the type of people who would sell a tape of her having sex to other people to put on the internet.
Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been working since 2006. Chances are her spending habits are the same, and aside form the occasional photo-shoot where she dresses up like a celebrity with longevity, chances are she’s soon going to be out of the Hollywood game. So a sex tape will either force her out completely, or put her in the position she’s always been: just on the outskirts, more infamous than famous. Getting paid to get high and have sex with things. It’s a job she’d be good at. According to anonymous sources …
This video file is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors.
Which makes me think, it’s weird how times have changed. If you had told me seven years ago, we’d all be able to watch Lindsay Lohan pull a Cleveland Steamer on a guy, I WOULD’VE NEVER BELIEVED YOU. We should not pity her, though. Think of how dumb you have to be to turn down an intervention organized by Tina Fey. Think. If Tina Fey came to my house with a group of people, I’d buy whatever she was selling. Even if it was death and vacuums.