Are you tired of not having your grizzly pile of meat, juice, and special sauce wrapped in a tortilla, conveniently keeping all the drippings from being able to escape? Then you, my chubby fingered friend, are in luck. The new Big Mac Snack Wrap is here. And it’s taking no prisoners. Mostly because the prison it used to use to hold prisoners is too flooded with saturated fat. Forgoing other suggestions from McDonald’s board members such as the “Nacho Sauce Drainage Ditch” and the “Ball of Unnameable Grease Coated In Bacon and Sugar”, the Big Mac Snack Wrap is guaranteed to taste great while giving your diabetes scurvy. When asked why he had decided to release a Big Mac Burrito, Ronald McDonald replied, “I have decided to begin the final war on health. You are all my enemies, and you will succumb. Three skeletal horsemen, one with a McNugget Head, one with Big Mac head, one with the head of a McFlurry, will descend from the heavens and so shall begin the end.” He then laughed evilly, rubbed his hands together maniacally, turned into a bat and vanished.
One noted Doctor recommended a daily intake of at least seven Bic Mac Burritos for breakfast and brunch, a McFlurry for lunch, and another three Big Mac Burritos for dinner. That doctor was Dr. Jack Kervorkian.
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