I don’t know about you, but after I finish a big, hearty bowl of some mac n’ cheese, there’s nothing I like better than going out and blowing something up. Cars, dog houses, whatever. It all goes BOOM. There’s something so delightful about watching the yellow flames lick the sky, and bathe me in their warm glow. This year, I’ve set my sights a bit higher though. I want to blow up a football stadium.
Oh look, here’s my chance.
Thanks to Kraft Foods and the city of Irving, Texas (it had to be Texas, right?), one lucky winner is going to get the chance to push the button that will implode the iconic Texas Stadium. The sponsorship deal, announced on December 31, is part of Kraft’s “Cheddar Explosion” promotional campaign, and was approved by the city council as their last act of 2009. Kraft will in turn pay Irving $75,000 in sponsorship fees to go to local charities, and also fork (get it, fork) over $75,000 worth of products, also to go to local charities.
“It’s a good deal for us and a good deal for them,” said council member Rose Cannaday.
Hell yeah it’s a good deal, and while the full details of the contest have yet to be released, it looks like all you’re going to have to do is write an essay. Of course, knowing my luck, it will probably be open to children between the ages of 10 and 12. Frakkin’ kids get to have all the fun, don’t they? Ah well, guess I’ll have to settle on blowing up that Scientology center down the road.
Hey, at least Texas can now update its state slogan:
Creating Pyromaniacs Since 2010.
Yewah nice touch about blowing up a Scientology church, guess you like heavily armed well trained personel shoving a muzzle on your temple in the middle of the night and carying you of hog tied to a cozy cell huh ?
You won’t be hhe first. Keep it up.
Now where were these offers when we were kids? I would have had no problem writing essays for English class if I would have had the chance to blow up a freakin football stadium. This better be open for adults to enter or I’m gonna be payin a visit to my old school to have a little chat with Sister Mary English-Class!
I want to blow up the living room. It’d save me from vacuuming.
Scientology is an incredibly vindictive organization with deep pockets, dozens of lawyers, and PI’s.
Clearly, you’re just making a joke here about blowing something up. I hope you don’t get any grief over it, but if you have a SWAT team swarm your house at 3AM, don’t be surprised.
http://forums.whyweprotest.net/265-usa-west-coast/anon-arrested-las-vegas-54783/
Scientology, a church? Only where they can get tax exempt status for it. After all, when you have someone like L. Ron Hubbard administering self-help, you know that you’re working for Thetan
Wow, looks like you struck a nerve, James! In scientology’s defense, however, nothing they’re doing holds a candle to the papacy before 1800
So what these folks are saying is Scientologists have no sense of humor? After seeing Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, and Vanilla Sky, I would think Tom Cruise could prove that to be false.
Hey, this is just a few hours away from me! I might have to enter my kids for this one, lol. As for Scientology, I always wondered how a science fiction author ended up founding a religion. Maybe fiction and religion are really just one and the same (no matter which one?). Food for thought. Keep up the good work James, these posts are great.
Sounds like fun! I’d love to be the one to push that button. Ooo the power.