I don’t know about you, but after I finish a big, hearty bowl of some mac n’ cheese, there’s nothing I like better than going out and blowing something up. Cars, dog houses, whatever. It all goes BOOM. There’s something so delightful about watching the yellow flames lick the sky, and bathe me in their warm glow. This year, I’ve set my sights a bit higher though. I want to blow up a football stadium.
Oh look, here’s my chance.
Thanks to Kraft Foods and the city of Irving, Texas (it had to be Texas, right?), one lucky winner is going to get the chance to push the button that will implode the iconic Texas Stadium. The sponsorship deal, announced on December 31, is part of Kraft’s “Cheddar Explosion” promotional campaign, and was approved by the city council as their last act of 2009. Kraft will in turn pay Irving $75,000 in sponsorship fees to go to local charities, and also fork (get it, fork) over $75,000 worth of products, also to go to local charities.
“It’s a good deal for us and a good deal for them,” said council member Rose Cannaday.
Hell yeah it’s a good deal, and while the full details of the contest have yet to be released, it looks like all you’re going to have to do is write an essay. Of course, knowing my luck, it will probably be open to children between the ages of 10 and 12. Frakkin’ kids get to have all the fun, don’t they? Ah well, guess I’ll have to settle on blowing up that Scientology center down the road.
Hey, at least Texas can now update its state slogan:
Creating Pyromaniacs Since 2010.