I love writing headlines like that. As a rule, if you think your life isn’t crazy enough, hang out in Los Angeles. And when real life isn’t crazy enough, listen to celebrities talk. Because they’ll tell you to do things such as bedazzling your vagina.
Yes, bedazzle your vagina, if you’re a woman, or bedazzle your woman’s vagina, if you’re a gay man or an incredibly fortunate boyfriend. None of the women I’ve dated would let me come at their nether-regions with a bedazzler and sparkles. Or they would, but there would be too many questions about where I got a bedazzler from, and when I told them in earnestness I was going to make their vagina sparkle, there’d be violence. But Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the George Lopez show, doing the typical celebrity yuk-yuk thing when she dropped a big shiny bombshell. That she wrote a book. Then she dropped another one, that there was a chapter in the book specifically dedicated to telling an anecdote about a time a friend bedazzled her vagina with Swarovski crystals. Jump to 2:39.
That’s how you know you’ve got a friend. When they come over to attach expensive crystals to your genitals, and you’re neither nervous nor amazed. You’re just like, “Oh, that’s Steven. He’s so creative.”
To me, this story isn’t creepy. What is creepy, though, is that Jennifer Love Hewitt calls her vagina her precious lady.
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