People Get Depressed After Avatar?

By Mark Lorenz on January 12th, 2010

This is probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever written about. Ever.

Avatar is steamrolling at the box office, and is already the second highest grossing film of all time. (Cumulative, not adjusted for inflation.) Despite being completely terrible. There are many people who would debate this point with me, but I just saw it a second time, and it was still completely terrible. If it wasn’t paired with eye-popping, brand spankin’ new 3-D technology, you’d be like, “Did she just kick the that dude’s cup away, for a single cutaway where she could say, ‘Oops?’” Or, “Why doesn’t that marine talk like a normal human, and not an action-movie cliché?” Or, “Hasn’t anyone noticed this entire thing has the plot of a romantic comedy?” But because it’s pretty, you forget about all that, like a hot girl and her crazy.

Now, there are some fanboys, and girls, who have reported experiencing depression that the world of Pandora doesn’t actually exist. That it’s a place they can’t go to. I’ll repeat that. There are people with internet access, posting on Avatar fan-forums about how to cope with the depression of Pandora not being real. The thread containing the depression grew so popular, with thousands of responses, a second had to be made.

Though this could be the nuttiest PR scheme of all time to get people to see a movie that everyone’s seeing anyway, or it can be that there are people out there dumb enough to get depressed about Pocahontas in space. I’m guessing it’s a little of both.

Depressed you can’t be on Pandora? Do you want to fly around with Michelle Rodriguez, have people talk like they’re reading cue-cards, and be seeing bright colors? There’s a solution for that.

They’re called drugs.

Take them, and stop embarrassing your grandparents. They lived through a war and a depression. There are people in poverty all over the world today. And you’re depressed you’re not on a imaginary planet.