Rub Some Wood On Yourself. For Real.

Vibes-1If there’s one thing we can count on science and technology giving us, it’s another batch of weird sex toys. There will always be odd sex toys.

And it looks like there’s a newcomer on the market. And no, that wasn’t supposed to be a pun. You think I’d drag your dignity through the mud like that? Give me more credit. And straight from the great city of Copenhagen comes the latest entry in the never-ending saga of fusing sex to technology. Jonas Lönborg has invented androgynous sex toys called Woodvibes. I’ll repeat that. They are androgynous sex toys. They are not constrained to your preconceived notions of sexual identity, or your archaic notions of what sex toys should be.

They pretty much look like tiny rocks, or candies. Or both, if you’re an indiscriminate eater. Only one problem: they are charged using induction, and are most likely hard. In either case, you probably shouldn’t be eating tiny wooden sex toys. That’s a recipe for sexy disasters.

Once they’re charged, removal from the box activates them. Each has a distinctive vibrating pattern, and you get the idea. You rub electrified wood on yourself. Hopefully that’ll be the name of MGMT’s new, hyper-literate single.

More info here.

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