Christopher Lee is the biggest bad-ass on the planet. In terms of old acting demi-gods, he reigns supreme with Maggie Smith and his nemesis in Lord of the Rings, Ian MacKellan. He invented Alexander technique, and his shoulders are so rigid, Washington loggers thought his legs were Sequoias. He’s such a badass, he’s recording a metal concept album.
Not just any metal concept album, a metal concept album about CHARLEMAGNE. The king of the Franks. The Holy Roman Emperor. The man who shed the blood of the Saxon men. How do you know he shed the blood of the Saxon men? Because of history. And Christopher Lee’s terrifying bass, repeating it like an ancient Gregorian meditative chant.
We should probably require all older actors to record metal albums. Past the age of 70. Sort of like a metal bucket list. We could get Dame Maggie Smith paired up with Metallica, Zelda Rubinstein with Strapping Young Lad, and Anthony Hopkins to do guest vocals on a Mastadon album. I would totally listen to any of those. Betty White singing for Megadeth. It’s a post-modern dream.
Jesus, Christopher Lee singing about Charlemagne. Is it possible for things to be TOO metal? Because in my opinion, that would qualify.
You best enjoy it, or Christopher Lee will shed your blood, similar to the Saxon men he’s already killed. And by Saxon men, he means craft service people. GET ME COFFEE.
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