Hey, girl. You like listening to music? I bet you do. See, we invented the remix, girl. And we also invented this wicked pair of headphones, so, like always, I could emulate people who were actually groundbreaking and be the best hypeman I can possibly be. Sincerely, Diddy.
Monster, the company who brought you the Beats headphones by Dr. Dre, and the glitterbomb headphones by Lady Gaga, is launching a Diddy series of in-ear headphones. They will come in white, black, and pink, the three colors that Diddy sees the world in. I kid. But seriously, I hope everything looks like it’s pink to Diddy.
I still have no idea what the fuck it is that Diddy does. Or why he can get an army of people working for him and film it for a show. Like, legitimately. I know he left Biggie with about 32K when he was the top rap artist in the world, and is generally a dick of a businessman, but most of his rap albums have flopped horribly. Now he mostly makes cash off of clothes and vodka.
So if these headphones were to properly emulate Diddy, you’d pay them a lot of money, and they generally wouldn’t do much, except whisper, “Take that, take that,” in your ear, and then charge you for it. Until years later, when they’ll accumulate much more worth and convince you it was all their doing to begin with.
They’ll retail for around $170.