The most hilarious part of Rush Limbaugh going to the hospital is not Rush Limbaugh going to the hospital. Or him then praising Hawaii and America’s health care system when Hawaii is one of the most progressive in the nation. The most hilarious part is, he’s too lazy to dial 911.**
Well, when you’re a billionaire who can’t hear, and can hardly move, and who spends your time speaking authoritatively about things you understand through talking points, how can you be expected to move your fingers? Really? How can you express your discomfort and fear for your life? Especially after all the pills?
Simple. You call your girlfriend and tell her you’re having a heart attack.
Really, this confirms every suspicion I’ve ever had about Rush Limbaugh. That is, at heart, behind his tough-guy exterior, he’s a momma’s boy. When things go wrong, he complains to whoever’s next to him and his staff, instead of getting on and getting things done himself. You just had to dial three numbers. Three numbers. A lot of phones have 911 on speed-dial. Oh, god. I can’t imagine Rush’s pudgy fingers trying unsuccessfully to dial three numbers on a phone. Three numbers on a phone.
Amazing. Amazing. It’s amazing people listen to this man, but everyone needs a rabblerouser.
That’s not his girlfriend, BTW. I just wanted to make you all slightly nauseous.
**For those of you wondering why I think this is weird, it’s because unless my family owned emergency services, I wouldn’t have wasted the time calling them. Especially if I thought I was dying. And neither would you.