Mike Tyson has become adorable. There’s no way around it. He might be gigantic and muscular, he might have a tattoo on his face that looks like a bunch of aliens in a swordfight, but he has, nonetheless, become adorable. It’s something about his smile, and his obliviousness. It makes him seem like he would just be fun to have around. He’s like a Furby that could kill you if you made it angry.
This first occurred to me when I heard that Mike Tyson had been involved in a violent skirmish at the airport and my immediate first thought was, “Awwww… you! Look at you!”
He’s kind of like a Tyrannosaurus. You want to be terrified but then you remembered that if a Tyrannosaurus got invited to a tea party it would keep dropping the cup because it’s little arms were too weak to hold up the tea.
It’s also partly that his voice is so high that he makes Joanna Newsom sound like Tom Waits if Tom Waits ate a pack of Marlboro Reds like it was cereal. All of that combined basically means, yeah, Mike Tyson still fights people in random places like airports, and, yeah, if a loud bang went off near him he’d probably lose control and start biting cats with his mouth. All that said, at this point, I think it would still be totally fun to have him hang out in your living room so you could tickle him with a feather duster when you were feeling down.