A new biography of Warren Beatty claims that he was able to bed around 13,000 women. In a new common-sense survey conducted by me, Warren Beatty must’ve been crawling with every type of STD imaginable, but had an amazing time getting them.
Warren Beatty was one of the biggest film stars of the ’60s and ’70s. Star of classics such as Reds, Shampoo, and the sublime Bonnie and Clyde. And apparently, he was also a huge man-slut. A gigantic, gaping, man-slut. Who bedded every actress he could, to the point where Fran Drescher turned down his advances. You know how athletes, singers, and actors have all made outrageous claims in recent years that they’ve had sex with as many women as there are grains of sand on the earth. But you know what?
They’re actors, athletes, and singers. I’m sure they’ve had sex a lot, but none of those professions are good with numbers. None of them. I’m fairly certain I could hold eight marbles in my hand, and ask Warren Beatty and Wilt Chamberlin to count them, and they’d just say purple repeatedly.
The book, “Star,” by Peter Biskind, isn’t out in stores yet. Warren Beatty’s lawyer, Bert Fields, is loudly decrying it, saying it’s unauthorized. But that’s the way the best biographies are.
Hail to you, Warren Beatty, a paragon of manliness.
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