Rush Limbaugh Rushed To The Hospital

By Mark Lorenz on December 31st, 2009

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Rush Limbaugh, noted conservative talk radio host, has been rushed to the hospital, complaining of chest pains. I hope nothing bad happens to him. I would hate to see him die before he got to watch Obama’s re-election.

We will now follow a circuitous route of logic, similar to what you see on conservative programs. Rush Limbaugh is a noted prescription drug addict. Prescription drug addicts often complain of pains. Rush was complaining about pains in his chest. Isn’t it odd, then, that his ample medicine cabinet couldn’t provide him with the kind of medication he needed to relieve the pain in his chest? Isn’t it strange that he wound up in a hospital in a state known for having almost socialized medicine? Isn’t it strange that other patients noticed their supplies of Darvocet dwindling down?

I’m not saying Rush Limbaugh is faking his illness for attention from the media and a veiled opportunity to steal prescription drugs, but isn’t it strange that he hasn’t left a comment on this website to deny this very accusation? I mean, I’m just one man. But it’s incredibly suspect to me.

Rush was staying at the Kahala Hotel and Resort, and was taken to The Queen’s Medical Center in serious condition. He’s now resting comfortably, a state I imagine you’d find him in 90% of the time.

Get well soon, tubby.

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