Over the break, I bit the bullet, joined the masses, bought my ticket, sat down and watched Avatar. I don’t know what I was expecting, but based on critical consensus, something like a movie that is in 3-D, that washes my balls then hand dries them. Instead I got clunky dialogue against brilliant visuals, James Cameron’s specialty. But apparently, there was more that I missed.
The person who I watched it with laughed in the theaters when they announced the name of the mineral. (SPOILERS) It’s called unobtanium. UNOBTANIUM. That’s how you know you’re surrounded by yes men. When you’ve got 13 years, and not one of them says, “Hey, uh, Jim? Can we maybe make up a name for it? Farlax. There. I just did it. We can call it Farlax.”
But not once during the movie did I saw to myself, you know, this needs more blue people. Having sex with each other. Hot furry sex. Computer-generated blue people rubbing their genitals together for untold hours, and reciprocating pleasure. Things that would make an ordinary geek get his pants full of happiness.
James Cameron has hinted the extended sex scenes will be released on DVD. If you must know, the Na’vi do it with their hair. Also, I recreated the scene myself today. All it took was a piece of paper, blue finger paint, and my imagination.
Comments
Dan Mabee
December 31st, 2009 - 7:52:08 PM
I've seen this plot before many times over: http://www.bioware.com/games/shattered_steel/game_info/story/ I laughed at the unobtanium thing too since the word has been around forever to describe materials we haven't invented yet like a tether for a space elevator. For a half a second, i laughed, and then stopped in case the term was being used sarcastically as a short form for almostunobtanium as an acknowledgment of just how rare the stuff was. Then they kept using the term and the sad truth was there for everyone to see. No one knew what a joke they were making of themselves.
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diana
January 3rd, 2010 - 3:42:09 PM
So if they mate with their tails, do they have genitals??? I mean then what's the point od his cloth?
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Maxra
January 8th, 2010 - 5:10:33 PM
Jesus, people, it was the one character who called it that. Who the fuck is "they?" Ribisi's character was an over-the-top driven, young exec. Why in the fuck should he even care what it's called, when he has an entire lab of scientists there to do his bidding? You idiots are pathetic - I would encourage you to read, but I suspect you equate that to blogging. FUCK!
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