Chickolith – Christina Ricci

By Juan Aguilar on December 17th, 2009

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You guys remember one of Christina Ricci’s earliest role as Wednesday Addams in the “Addams Family Movie”? Well, I have to express my disagreement with the lyrics of the theme music, because although she may be kind of mysterious and possibly spooky, she’s definitely not creepy or altogether ooky. Somewhat ooky, sure, but not altogether. I intend to prove that although ookiness has been a key component of her appeal, that kind-of-innocent-yet-kind-of-nasty energy she has is a much bigger factor.

Luckily for us, movies like “Pecker” and ”That Darn Cat” (fuck yeah, I remember that, and so does Doug E. Doug) did not kill her career, despite the lack of any on-screen vamping or naughty bits. She continued to act, and she landed a role in “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” in which she acted like a decent Christian girl until Johnny Depp got her to stumble around half-naked by giving her a ton of drugs. The message about her career was clear: she would shed her good girl image, baby fat, and clothing, if we waited long enough. Then came ”Black Snake Moan,” and if you haven’t seen it yet, use your fast forward and mute buttons liberally for a much better experience.

This is not to say that her whole career has been about getting nasty. She’s done other things like “Pumpkin” and “Penelope,” but those are mostly for your pig-nosed girlfriend who needs you to tell her she’s pretty more often than you do. And that’s my point. Her lips are just a little crooked when she smiles, her eyes are huge, and she has that medium-pitched, slightly raspy voice. All slightly off. But even so, that voice was practically made for dirty talk, the eyes to shoot you The Look, and the lips … well, just do the math, guys.