Not once. Twice. For having the noisiest sex her neighbors could ever imagine. For having the noisiest sex anyone could imagine. For being a hero to all of us.
Well, maybe not to all of us. Because noisy British ladies are not all of our ideas of heaven. Especially not to her neighbors, who have called in the sounds as, allegedly, “Murderous, unnatural, and capable of drowning out out our televisions.”
Holy god. That woman is more metal than most metal records that have come out in the last twenty years. She’s murderous, unnatural, and capable of drowning out your television. Take that, re-runs of “King of The Hill” and old seasons of “Skins.” You’ll be bombarded with sex noises. Cartwright has said that she is unable to control the noises that come out of her mouth during sex. Well, it’s a good thing she was just being loud. And not racist. The combination of the two would curl her neighbor’s upper lip to the point of no return.
Neighbors have claimed they were late for work due to oversleeping. Due to not getting sleep the night before. From the sex noises. I tried this excuse more than once. It never helped when I was late for selling shoes.
The sex noises have been measured at 47 db. Which would be awesome, but I saw pictures of the couple, and they’re not hot. Noise ordinances claim that 30 db is enough to file a complaint. Also, “The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain.”
If you have sex life a wolf, you’re either doing it right or very wrong. I can’t decide which.
Comments
kathy
May 31st, 2010 - 9:46:17 AM
Hello, Do you mind if I link to your site? Thanks.
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