Barack Obama was for many an odd choice for the Nobel Peace Prize. He hadn’t really done much in the way of accomplishing the agenda he had set out, and shortly after receiving the Nobel Prize he sent 30,000+ people into violent combat. Combat being the opposite of peace, the state of being for which the prize is named. However, he does have a very charming smile, and doesn’t regularly invite children alone into the oval office to eat them, something his predecessor George W. Bush did regularly (and which President Bush defended by saying it was the only way to sate his “wanton lust for eating children”). Also, in the interest of being fair, there have been way more surprising Nobel Peace Prize winners in the past than Barack Obama. Here are just a few of them:
Henry Kissinger oversaw two covert overthrows of democratically elected leaders, he pushed for U.S. support of Indonesia during the worst days of the genocide in East Timor, his influence led directly to our continued presence in Vietnam, and to give you a birds eye view of his opinions about the democratic process, he once said, “The illegal we can do right now; the unconstitutional will take a little longer.” He did get to have sex with Candice Bergen back when she was hot, which is good. However, he only did so to get the media to focus on their love affair instead of the 140,000 puppies he killed single-handedly in 1971. Thirty-thousand of which had adorable black spots on their left eye.
Sure Dr. Doom is a polymath scientific genius (which means that he knows everything about Geometry, Physics, and the hit TV show “Blossom”), but genius alone shouldn’t have been enough to award him the Nobel peace prize. It is one’s actions that should first and foremost be taken into account. Dr. Doom shares, with Martin Luther King Jr., the dubious honor of being one of the only two Nobel Peace Prize winners to attempt to imprison Mr. Fantastic’s son, Franklin Richards, in Hell. In addition, Dr. Doom has been credited with dozens of international crimes, including attempting to destroy Spider-Man, taking control of the Human Torch with a mind control ray and using him to try to burn down the White House, and keeping Dick Cheney’s heart alive.
Cthulhu being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize stunned many, particularly because it happened the same year that they were going to give the award to Nelson Mandela. Critics of Cthulhu’s win suggest that the only reason he won was that Cthulhu and several key judges were all a part of the same gentlemen’s club. Others cite the fact that Cthulhu, unlike Nelson Mandela, never cheated on his wife. Although critics argue that the only reason Cthulhu has never cheated on his wife is that he has no wife because he is an ageless demonic manifestation of hate that lives deep in outer space where wives generally have a hard time adapting to the lack of oxygen and sub zero temperatures. Cthulhu does have a few things going for him that don’t make it completely outlandish that he won the Nobel Peace Prize though. For instance, he is part octopus, part dragon, and semi-humanoid, which is an amalgamation of types of beings that Nobel Peace Prize judges tend to be partial to. However, he does spend most of his time convincing doomsday cults to try to end all of mankind for no other reason than his sheer hatred of all things living, which critics argue is a mark against him.