Lil’ Wayne’s House Sounds Awesome

By Mark Lorenz on December 13th, 2009

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If I were going to tour anyone’s house in hip-hop, ever, I’d probably want to tour Lil’ Wayne’s. Because it’d be like a carnival ride on linoleum. Which is also how Lil’ Wayne described your last girlfriend, in his last batch of rhymes.

“A carnival ride on linoleum/I like the way she was holding dem/By dem I mean deez nuts/Deez nuts busted on her Starter brim.”

The most awesome broker in the world, when a couple asked to tour Wayne’s South Beach apartment, had only two questions. First, do you mind the smell of marijuana? And second, do you mind seeing the house in the late afternoon?

Those would be awesome questions, even if they weren’t being asked in seriousness. But because they were, they’re 10x as awesome. Think of how bad the marijuana smell must permeate the walls of that house. You’d literally need a medical evac team in hazmat suits to clear it out. It gets better, though. This is a direct quote.

Once we got there, a member of Wayne’s posse opened the door to the overwhelming smell of marijuana. Two hot, rap-video-looking girls were walking around in nothing but a bra and underwear, blasting hip-hop. We just went in and looked around and tried not to stare.

I like the touch that Wayne was showing the house, but didn’t bother to clean up and get the ho’s out. Literally, if you can imagine those two people coming in, walking in slow motion, looking horrified at the drugs and debauchery, that’s a rap video. Get Hype Williams now.

Too bad Wayne might be headed to prison.