Chris Brown Is Angry That People Are Angry That He Hits Women

By Mark Lorenz on December 13th, 2009

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If you were unaware, Chris Brown had an album that came out recently. An album so unremarkable that if you saw it at a party, even if it were surrounded by women, exotic teas and cherubs, you wouldn’t even ask the name of the album. (Which is Graffiti.) You’d just be like, “Hey look! Boring has a new suit.” But Chris Brown is angry. Some people aren’t carrying his album.

Which might be for a reason. Chris Brown beat up Rhianna after all. Pretty badly, if you recall. To the point where a bystander had to call the police and they had to take pictures of Rhianna’s face. He got off by just doing community service, but his reputation was damaged. Fortunately for the rest of the world, a falling profile, damaged reputation, and overall ill-will has no effect on hubris. So Chris Brown is enraged that stores aren’t carrying his album. And he took to Twitter to proclaim his rage, which is the perfect vehicle. Cause after 100 characters, he gets punchy.

im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do…
WTF… yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit
im not biting my tongue about shit else… the industry can kiss my ass

Awww, he’s feisty. There’s more.

for those people who r constantly tweeting me wit bullshit.. hop off my ****.. ur life is pointless

Yeah, haters. Hop off his dick. Your life is pointless. Not like a dude who does forgettable pop music. To investigate the situation himself, Chris went to a Wal-Mart, where there were no copies of his album. I would’ve loved to have been that attendant.

“Hey, man, where’d all the copies of my CD go?”

“We invented a car that runs off auto-tune.”