Breaking news: irony.
I shouldn’t make fun. Really, I shouldn’t. Because this should be awesome news. In actuality, though, it’s just depressing. Because recently R. Kelly has admitted to the world that he has trouble reading. So he’s going to write a book documenting all his experiences, his incredible journey, and, yet, be unable to read it himself. Aww, snap. Maybe he can do a rambly song about it, and then try to get the book pregnant. Have you ever tried to get a book pregnant? I have. That’s why they didn’t let me into the premiere of “Where The Wild Things Are.”
Kelly has promised that the book will clear up every scandal that he’s been faced with for the last twenty or so years. Which is good, because there have been more scandals in R. Kelly’s life then there have been songs. In fact, he could name it that, “Songs and Scandals: Still Feeling Yo Booty.”
Admit it. You’re going to buy this book when it comes out. Lord knows I will. I’m going to read passages aloud in a sing-songy way like “Trapped in the Closet” until I lose all of my friends. Until I lose every single one of them.
Comments
jared
December 14th, 2009 - 12:02:33 PM
i'm all for this. encouraging people to learn how to read is always a good thing, even if it's from someone like kells. in fact, maybe even more so from someone like kells. shows kids (and adults) that if he can do it, well, so can they. plus just how awesome is this gonna be? pretty fucking awesome i'd say.
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