The world is a vampire. Set to drain. And so is Billy Corgan’s alt-rock woman cred. Why, you ask? Well, he’s been parading around town with everyone’s favorite has-been, Jessica Simpson. What are the reasons? Witchcraft, clearly.
Funny story. When I was doing shows at a local theater in my youth, we were big Smashing Pumpkins fans. But not so much for Zwan. Who had just formed and were trying to tour. And the theater manager had Billy Corgan’s number, because he supposedly did engineering work for him, setting microphones. So we’d call him and tell him Zwan sucked. Alright, not so funny. I’ll donate the time that you spent reading that to charity.
Billy Corgan is a notorious womanizer. Well, not really, but really, I’m struggling for reasons why he’d be palling around with Jessica Simpson. They seem so diametrically opposed. She, a down-home southern girl from Texas. He, a seemingly literate alt-rock icon of the mid-’90s, who’s perpetually depressed. Maybe he’s looking for inspiration. Maybe, and this is my dream, Billy Corgan is planning a country album. How ridiculously awesome would that be? Billy Corgan donning a straw hat and overalls, and crooning songs about losing his woman? Only to interrupt one midway through with a Big Muff distortion pedal and a ridiculous solo.
That’s the only reason I wrote this, so you could envision what the album cover of Billy Corgan’s country album will look like. Enjoy that image. Savor it.