Now I Have a Machine Gun, Too: This Christmas, forget “It’s A Wonderful Life,” and watch “Die Hard” instead. It’s a far superior Christmas movie, and Bruce Willis is way more bad ass than Jimmy Stewart. (Cracked)
Emptiness Is Loneliness: Billy Corgan stops being a pretentious whiner long enough to date Jessica Simpson. (Twirlit)
Blocks From Heaven: Someone finally figured out who decides which blocks drop during your game of Tetris, and in surprising news, he’s not Russian but he has a cool accent. (College Humor)
“Twilight” Still Sucks: But at least you can use what you’ve learned from the movie to seduce chicks. (EgoTV Online)
Take That, Proper British Society!: Unbefitting her royal title, Lady Gaga dresses like The Queen of Hearts to meet Queen Mum. (The Chive)
The Idea of Soccer: More interesting, less pretentious than actually liking soccer. (Break)
Fair and Balanced: Fox News uses fuzzy math to deride the use of fuzzy math. (i am bored)
Twitter: Not just for lazy journalists and ADHD-addled bloggers anymore. It’s actually a guide for life and/or world domination. (FunnyCrave)
The Future Is Now In Asia: A concise guide to Christmas gifts for the person who has everything. Also, Asia is host to the most promising inventions mankind has yet to devise. (YepYep)
As If Bartenders Needed More Charity: You know how every time you order a beer, your bartender gets a buck for having the courtesy to open the thing for you? At least your hard-earned money went to a good cause. (Riverfront Times)
As if Australia Needed More Violence: Alien vs. Predator game is banned Down Under for being too violent after publisher grows some balls and refuses to cave to government-imposed censorship. (GammaSquad)
I’m The Type of Guy Who Likes to Roam Around: Considering that he’s slept with just about everyone else, is it possible that Tiger Woods could be sleeping with your significant other? (Guyism)
Holiday Shopping: We know you’re cheap and would rather be spending your money on booze than Christmas gifts because gifts won’t get you drunk. But they might get you other things. Here’s a chart to help you decide who’s worth spending your money on. (HolyTaco)
Say, Son, How’d You Like To Go Fishing This Weekend?: As the official sport of drunken old guys, fishing enjoys widespread popularity. Hilarity ensues. (Funny Or Die)
Good list! Koowie