Our political differences may divide us, our tastes might be completely and diametrically opposed, and we’re often at each others’ throats about insignificant matters. But everybody loves bubblewrap. Not a single one of you hates popping bubblewrap. Because if you hated popping bubblewrap, you’d probably be Satan.
And that’s why the bubblewrap calendar is like an eight-layer cake of sexy. It’s like Ambrosia distilled into a product that you can hang. The principle? You can spend every morning poppin’ them thangs, in the immortal words of G-Unit. The calendar hangs down with 365 pop-worthy bubbles, waiting for you to crush them every morning like a sadistic monster from Japanese cinema. The catch? You can only pop one of them a day. Which, to me, would be impossible to do. If you want, you could save up for the week, and then pop seven in a row. Or roll yourself up in the calendar, and throw yourself down stairs. That isn’t your speed? Fair enough. You just don’t get excited about bubblewrap like I do. You must be Satan.
The calendar is available with paper backing for around 30 bucks, and with heavy duty plastic backing for 50. But really, can you put a price on happiness? I don’t think you can. Start poppin’ them thangs.
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