Brooklyn Teachers Caught Naked At School, Realize It’s Not a Nightmare

By Phil Fuller on December 9th, 2009

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In a story that could begin, “Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this could happen to me … ” a janitor at James Madison High School caught two romance language teachers allegedly locked in a scantily-clad lesbian embrace and tattled on the pair to administrators last month, reports New York Daily News. The janitor then went home, sat in a corner, tucked his knees against his chest and wept bitterly as he wondered why no one at work likes him. And wondered why no one liked him in high school, either.

He is quoted in the article as saying that he can’t talk about the whole ordeal. I wish that the reporter could have quoted the janitor’s internal dialogue, which I imagine to go something like this:

Janitor: Jesus! Why would you send me such an affront to your good moral ways while I’m just trying to mop the school? Why would you allow the devil to put wicked thoughts into my head?

Jesus: The devil? You jerk! That was my favor to you … you know … to brighten your day. You know what I would do? Not tattle on those two heavenly beauties.

Janitor: (confused) I think I’m gonna tattle on those heavenly beauties.

The teachers, 29-year-old Alini Brito and 33-year-old Cindy Mauro, were popular among students. Especially the boys. In fact, every quote in this article is about how hot the teachers were and how well they dressed. In a move sure to break the hearts of every pubescent boy in New York, the pair has been removed from the classroom, pending a probe, and administrators are being tight-lipped about the whole ordeal (ha!).

It is a tragedy to remove these dedicated teacher from the class room even though no one got molested here, as in previous scandals involving naked teachers. I’m sure everyone’s sad to see them go, especially the local high school boys/lesbians. But isn’t part of the thrill of public sex, indeed the very reason people have sex in public, because there’s always the risk of getting caught? And if you get caught, it’ll probably be by a janitor with no friends. And no sense of justice and the American way. And he’ll probably tattle, destroying the only thing good about high school.