Are you surprised? Really, are you surprised at all? Sarah Palin isn’t even real, I don’t think. I think she’s a comic construct of every stereotype of politicians and beauty queens ratcheted up to 11. In a story that was completely missed by the mainstream liberal media, Sarah Palin’s dad said she left Hawaii because — wait for it — there were too many Asians. And Pacific Islanders.
Oh, God, I would’ve paid good money to see that. Sarah, running around in a bikini, confused and asking where all the white people were hiding at. Then deciding to move back to Alaska. The Jaws theme playing while she goes to the beach and watches in horror at all the hairless bodies running around.
Sarah wrote in her biography, “Perpetual sunshine isn’t necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.” Then followed it up with a tee-hee and a smiley emoticon. But the publishers cut it. Turns out, that wasn’t really the case. According to an interview with her dad, Chuck Heath, Asian people confused Sarah:
They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came back home.
YUPPUM. LET ME GET OUT MY CHEWING TOBACCO. Them minority type things didn’t sit too kindly with young Sarah, so she went to Idaho, where Bigfoot is seen more than Asians.
Please, please, PLEASE, let this woman run for President.
Source is here, for the doubters.