Didn’t you see “The Birds”, people? This can only end badly. With chickens being photographed by TMZ, out at rock concerts for hardcore bands, and passing out with their breasts hanging out. You hear me? Nobody’ll win. A Guatmalan man has found new ways to smuggle drugs.
And they’re fowl. Oh, so fowl. Wagner Mauricio Linares Aragon (Have more names. Seriously.) was flying into Dulles International Airport, when customs officials found something odd. He was carrying a cooked chicken. And that’s not even the oddest part. The cooked chicken was stuffed full of pure, processed nose candy. The boog sug. The magic white powder which is often referred to as cocaine.
How much was his chicken carrying? About 60 grams. That’s 4,000 dollars worth of cocaine, just sitting in a cooked chicken. This was a Rachel Ray recipe that I missed.
The most hilarious part of this story is that you know Wagner thought he was being clever by hiding it inside of a cooked chicken. I can imagine one of his friends telling him, “Everybody in America flies with cooked food. It’ll be fine. Nothing bad will happen to you. Now take the cocaine chicken and go.”
Wagner is now being held on felony drug charges. Hopefully, he’ll claim that it wasn’t his chicken. Or that it was alive when he got it, and it must’ve eaten his cocaine and cooked itself.