Some people have a problem with athletes with bad attitudes. I don’t. I have a problem with athletes with no personality, which is why I remain ambivalent about Tiger Woods. He could have sex with a legion of cocktail waitresses, and that’d be the most exciting thing about him. Ron Artest, though, has admitted he used to drink cognac at halftime while playing with the Chicago Bulls.
Now, I love the Chicago Bulls. I grew up in Chicago, with Michael Jordan beating the hell out of everything that came in his path, pissing on the ashes, and then selling McDonald’s burgers to me. All in the same half-hour. But I remember when Ron Artest came in and was still playing with Toni Kukoc and Scottie Pippen, and the dude would climb on top of opposing players and beat the hell out of them. And here’s why. Apparently, he kept cognac in the locker room, and took swigs of it at half-time. He’d buy it from the liquor stores down the street from the stadium.
That’s right. While your puny sports icons were swigging the Gatorade they were shilling, Ron Artest was guzzling cognac, and slapping the strippers he had hid away in the bathroom.
In my opinion, we need more sports stars to admit foibles like this. That way we can stop digging up dirt on Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb.