So I was playing madlibs with my friends and came up with the sentence, "Peter Criss fights male breast cancer," and then I was like, "that's such an outlandish combination of words, I think I'll look it up online." So I did and it turned out to be true. I then tried, "Bespectacled alligator lawyer decided to run for Forever President of candy town," but that turned out not to be true. Just barely.
Peter Criss, best known for looking like an adorable cat while drumming, has decided to take the fight against male breast cancer to the streets. He was diagnosed with male breast cancer in early 2008, and has since fully recovered. According to statistics, around 2000 men in the United States are diagnosed with breast cancer every year, however, there's no cause for alarm because according to those same statistics roughly 94% of those men are Peter Criss. Furthermore, according to medical experts, men who get breast cancer are so rare because in order for a man to get breast cancer they, "have to spend most of their time dressed like a cat." So the only men who have ever had breast cancer are guys who dress like Garfield every Halloween, mascots, and Peter Criss.
Nonetheless, it is important for men to get checked out for breast cancer. The best way for men to check themselves for breast cancer is to undress and have a male friend test you while you are both standing underneath a lush tropical waterfall. This test is important because, according to doctors, "if you don't check yourself, you will inevitably get male breast cancer." Also according to those doctors, the main cause of breast cancer is, "breast cancer ghosts," which those same doctors describe as, "ghosts that haunt your chest until you get breast cancer." Sure, I may have made up every single quote in this paragraph of the story, but Peter Criss did have male breast cancer, and chances are so do you.
The moral of this story is: get checked out for breast cancer if you're a man. As Peter Criss says, "I grew up in Brooklyn. I was a tough kid. It has nothing to do with being macho. It’s just smart." However, it should be noted, that while Peter Criss was saying that he was dressed like a cat, petting a cat, and riding a giant tabby cat.
Here is my impression of what transpired between Peter Criss and his doctor when Peter Criss got the news that he had male breast cancer, in his breasts.
Doctor
Mr. Criss, I have some bad news.
Peter Criss
Is it purrrrrfectly bad news?
Doctor
(Clearing his throat)
No, it's just regular bad news.
Peter Criss
Well don't string me along.
Doctor
(Silence)
Peter Criss
...Because cats like string.
Doctor
I get it.
Peter Criss
I like string.
Doctor
You have male breast cancer! You need to have an operation immediately!
Peter Criss
(Silence)
Peter Criss
(Silence)
Peter Criss
I'm a cat!
The Doctor storms out of the room.
i have heard that human beings who suffer from gonadal dysgenesis usually have enlarge breasts and prickled nipples. when this syndrome aggravates bleeding is associated from nipples and sometimes patient may contract Breast Cancer. This is a part of a theory that was discussed recently at who summit’09
http://www.chemistdirect.co.uk