In a story that makes me happy that soon many PETA members will have no jobs–barring the fact a lot of them don’t have jobs already–scientists have been able, in a lab, to create pork meat without killing any pigs. Let me repeat that, because I think it merits it. THEY WERE ABLE TO CREATE PORK MEAT WITHOUT KILLING ANY PIGS.
God, what a world we live in, right? I could have titled this, “Scientists Create Meat From Air,” and it wouldn’t be less true. Using the miracles of science–and all the things king science can do for us–scientists in the Netherlands were able to synthesize what they call “soggy pork.” Which actually sounds kinda gross, and is fake pig muscle that has never been exercised. Ideally, though, they’ll learn to shape it in labs, and you will be eating pig meat that didn’t actually come from pigs. And it’ll probably taste like chicken.
I sincerely hope that it wasn’t the work of a group of hard-working scientists. Just one who was really determined to make some food for himself without leaving the lab and without having any sort of comestibles in the refrigerator. So he decided to whimsy up some meat from the sky.
It’s estimated in five years we’ll be able to eat real synthesized meats regularly, thereby making the go-to excuse for not eating meat, not, “Ohhh, the poor animals are suffering,” but rather, “Man, I don’t trust science. And people in white coats.”
Then I can’t WAIT to see PETA turn on the crazy. Oh, life is awesome. I will almost be joining you, Alicia. In five short years.