Hey. Hey, wake up. Thanksgiving was yesterday. Get up already, there’s movies to see! There’s something for everyone this weekend, from the balls-to-the-wall old school-ness of “Ninja Assassin” to the in-your-face bleak nihilism of “The Road”. Which will YOU choose?
First up, “Ninja Assassin“, from the Wachowski Brothers. I get the feeling that “The Matrix” really opened things up for these boys, in the sense that they seem able to pitch whatever the hell they want to studios and they get a green light, no matter how stupid an idea it is. “V For Vendetta” was seriously flawed, “Speed Racer” was incredibly dumb, but that doesn’t matter because now we have a movie about ninjas fighting each other, a good two decades past the time when ninjas were cool. I don’t know. I just don’t know. It’s nice that they put Sho Kosugi in this, but I can’t get behind it. I just get the terrible feeling it’s going to try to do more than just give you hyperkinetic action sequences, and that’s always where the Wachowskis go wrong. They’re like two dudes who took a philosophy class and suddenly think they’re full of amazing thoughts that no one has ever considered before, and just have to tell you about them using labored, stilted dialogue and over-stylized, moody cinematography. But hey, maybe it’ll be great. Maybe this time they’ll finally give us more than vapidity. Maybe … but you guys will have to tell me about it. Check out the trailer below:
Next up, “The Road“, written by Cormac McCarthy, the man who gave the world “No Country For Old Men”, so you know it’ll be hilarious. I read the original novel and it was one of the bleakest, most soul-wrenching experiences I’ve ever had. Part of its effect might be the fact that it played on all of my fears of being a father and failing my son in numerous ways, part of it is the world that McCarthy exposes and explores in his prose, which is another complete nightmare. My wife saw this movie a couple of days ago and related that it’s pretty much just like the book, which means that I will never see it; I don’t need to give this story more of a home in my psyche than it already has. But it was brilliant, make no mistake. So if you’re feeling the need for some ass-kicking hopelessness, do go see this film. Check out the trailer below: