Silvio Berlusconi Has Had A Weird Month

By Mark Lorenz on November 27th, 2009

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Hey, you know how in the U.S. there’s always a big scandal when someone cheats on their wife? It’s all over the presses, everybody gets all up in arms, and the person’s reputation is tarnished forever? Yeah. They’re sneezing at us in Italy. Sneezing at us and giving us the polite side-eye. Silvio Berlusconi has been unfaithful, and his wife wants a 64 million dollar settlement.

Rolling Stone Italy is dedicating the December issue to Berlusconi. They’re naming him the rockstar of the year. Why, you ask? Because he’s been embroiled in a number of sex scandals, with prostitutes coming out of the woodwork to tell the media that they had sex with him. It must be rough being a high-paid prostitute. All the men you sleep with are douche-bag leaders of state, rock stars, or genuinely unpleasant people. Berlusconi isn’t well liked by American leaders, either, after he made racist statements about President Obama and his wife in September. Statements like:

What’s his name? Some tanned guy. Ah, Barack Obama. You won’t believe it, but the two of them sunbathe together, because the wife is also tanned.

But the scandal he finds himself embroiled in now is just as classy. Apparently, he’s been banging the 18-year-old daughter of a business associate, came to her birthday party, gave her a necklace (no word if it was pearl), and a signed picture of himself. According to his wife, he’s never been to one of his own children’s 18th birthday parties. Ever.

So she wants $300,000 a month, and $64 million overall, in a divorce settlement. Sounds reasonable. I don’t know why you’d be married to a man who said Italy would never be able to stop rape because the women are too beautiful.

Here’s to you, Italian politics. For making us look like children in comparison. A corruption trial for Berlusconi is slated to go forward on December fourth.