PARRRRTY UP IN POLANSKI’S PLACE. Hide Dakota Fanning. If any of you are wondering how much it costs to be a renowned director, and rape a girl something like 30 years ago, today you got your answer. It costs 4.5 million dollars.
That amount of money is what got Roman Polanski, rumored to be depressed (DAWWWW.), and emaciated (DAWW-DAWWWWW.) out of his jail cell. Authorities say he’s at a risk of fleeing the country, and because he’s a skeezy looking dude who’s like 5′4″, there are plenty of places where he is liable to hide in Europe. Like a custom-made van.
Authorities said this is a rare case, where a person who isn’t even a Swiss citizen is granted bail. This’ll move Polanski to his palatial Swiss estate where he can drink hot chocolate, whittle, and reminisce about crazy times in Hollywood in the 70’s. Under house arrest, of course.
In other news a nude photo of him and Sharon Tate together is going up on the auction block. Christie’s is expecting the photo to fetch between 8,000 and 12,000 dollars. So if you’re looking for photos of icons from a bygone era, and are rich with no sense, hit them up. They’ll be happy to hear from you. Also, send your high school forensics team to Switzerland. It’ll build their character.
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