PETA Fails To Kill Lobsters Humanely

Lobster-1God, I love PETA. They’re preachy in the worst way, do exactly what they warn not to do, and when new technology fails them, they’ll never fail to compromise their values. Case in point? They were demonstrating a humane way of killing a lobster, when things went wrong, and they had to boil hundreds of them.

The CrustaStun is the newest way of killing crustaceans. It does it with an electric zap, instead of the old way. You know, hunting them down while singing, or bludgeoning their heads with rocks, or even boiling them in pots or taunting them as you nail them to walls. I don’t know, I’m not a chef. I DID read American Psycho though. Anyway, PETA, in their enthusiasm to show how lobsters can be killed humanely, invited a bunch of seafood lovers to an event. So they could eat lobsters. Killed humanely. Aren’t they supposed to be freeing them, or something?

Anyway, one thing they forgot to organize at the event was the shipment of the actual devices. The shipping courier lost the devices, and PETA was forced to kill hundreds of lobsters by boiling them. They then shook their fists angrily at the sky and cursed their bad luck.

When normal fail doesn’t fail enough, call PETA.

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4 Responses to PETA Fails To Kill Lobsters Humanely

  1. What do you expect from a fake animal rights group that adopts animals from a shelter and gives them lethal injections out in the parking lot.
    http://www.petakillsanimals.com/

  2. This article is not accurate at all. PETA did not kill anything. They were trying to get another (unaffiliated) charity to kill lobsters humanely.

    The fact that the author of this story even thinks that PETA would have killed any animals reveals a lot about his own biases. And it’s just irresponsible journalism to state something that isn’t true as if it were a fact.

  3. The Elusive Fancy Pants says:

    Nathan Baker is dumb