One of the most surprising things about Sarah Palin’s new book is that Sarah Palin knows how to write. Other surprising things about the book include its entire lack of any use of crayon. There are no bite marks on the edges of the book where Sarah though that it was a sandwich. When Sarah is in public at her book signings, there isn’t any ink on her face from her thinking that her face was the book. Something unsurprising about the book, though, was that Newsweek Senior Editor Michael Hirsh said that the book, “confirmed… some of the questions about her mastery of the issues.”
Such questions as, “Why would anyone think Sarah Palin mastered any issues?” and, “Who is biting my leg? Oh, that’s Sarah Palin that’s doing that.”
However, I don’t want to come off as completely sarcastic, and there are some really awesome things about the new book. For instance, the book is designed to be able to sense when a wolf is within 50 yards of the reader, hover into the air, and then fire itself at killing speeds of up to 148 mph at the wolf. Also, the book is completely non-recyclable, it has a half-life of 25,000 years, is irradiated, and drips cattle farm runoff so as to provide maximum environmental impact. Finally, she rewrote the Gospel of John to include way more instances of Jesus referring to gay people as, “My Dad’s only mistake.”
The title of the book is “Going Rogue”. Other titles for the book that they decided not to go with included: “What? Why Should I Pick The Title, You’re The Ghost Writer, You Pick The Damn Title”, “Katie Couric: Fuck Her”, or Sarah’s favorite title, which was just a confusing garbled jumble of letters and numbers, many of which it seemed Sarah invented herself.
If you’d like to read about more right-wing zaniness, check out this fine young article comparing Fox News to the Disney Channel.