I am having something of a philosophical crisis here that is being perpetuated by Marisa Miller’s hotness. I’m thinking that if you’re straight, male, and looking at this article at all, the chances that you read anything past the title are pretty damn slim, as there probably is not enough blood left in your brain to sustain literacy.
However, if you have gotten this far into the text, then surely, you are either not attracted to women, or some form of literate non-human entity that I have yet to encounter. Possibly you are some form of vegetable that gained sentience, or Lieutenant Commander Data from Star Trek.
I have so many questions for those of you who fall into this category. Mainly, what’s it like to look at Marisa Miller and have no sexual feelings at all? What, for fuck’s sake? I am seriously, earnestly asking, because it simply does not compute in my non-robotic, non-vegetable mind. Her body is literally perfect. And it’s not just that; the shape of her mouth is so damn sexy, especially in that teasing half-smile found in so many of her photos.
To me, the notion of not being turned on by her is kind of a newer, better version of the old Zen meditative riddle about a tree: If you met Marisa Miller and she failed to give you wood and no one was around, would you make a sound? I don’t think that would be possible for me, but if I did happen to encounter her, I know that I would try my best to get a solid mental picture, then find a private place and make the sound of one hand clapping.