Hey there, beloved readers, it’s time once again for Weekend Movie Alert, where we let you know/remind you about movies opening up today. There are quite a few that you might be interested in — “Uncertainty”, “Pirate Radio”, etc. — but really, the one that deserves our recognition is none other than the John Cusack vehicle “2012“.
For one thing, it’s just stupid and typical that Hollywood is capitalizing on the world’s fears with this movie. Roland Emmerich is the perfect guy to do this, too. If you can’t quite remember why you know his name, it’s because he did “Independence Day”, “Godzilla”, and “The Day After Tomorrow”, all disaster movies — in more ways than one, am I right? HOO-HA! Anyway.
For another thing, why has the world suddenly decided that, yes, the Mayans really knew what they were talking about? Forget that old fraud Nostradamus, forget our Christian evangelicals, forget the Y2K bug, it’s the Mayan calendar that really holds the truth. If all you’re looking forward to in your life is for the world to end, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you need to get out more, maybe join an Extreme Frisbee league, have some sex. Because hey, there’s a ton of great shit out there to enjoy before you bite it, okay? Climb out of your bunker and breathe in the LOVE, BROTHER!
And one last thing: why John Cusack? The Master of the Underplayed Scene cannot possibly be a good fit for this role, which will undoubtedly call for him to do a lot of running, screaming, and teeth-gnashing. Don’t get me wrong; I love the guy. “Grosse Pointe Blank” is one of my all-time faves. But this is beneath him, frankly. Come on, man. “The Grifters”. Knowhadamsayin’? “Better Off Dead”, “Say Anything”, “Being John Malkovich”. Dude. Seriously.
But I’m sure this movie will do gangbusters at the box office. ‘Cause, y’know … explosions. Gigantic tsunamis. Earthquakes. Dogs and cats, living together. Fine, fine theater. Someone see this and let me know what you thought. I’ll wait until 2012 to rent it.
Comments
No comments.