8 MORE Sex Tapes Of Carrie Prejean Exist

By Mark Lorenz on November 13th, 2009

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It’s times like this that I want all of you who are reading this to get out, and convince women to become conservative icons. Cause DAMN. Fresh off of her appearance walking off the “Larry King Live” show, which should’ve been renamed Vapid Cunt Variety Hour, chastising Larry like she’s been in broadcasting for over 9000 years (as he has), news has leaked about Carrie Prejean’s tapes.

And there ain’t just one. There’s eight more. EIGHT. And over 30 pictures of her topless. Which means Carrie Prejean has had more of a career in porn than most porn stars. What’s the cutoff? I think after two tapes of you touching yourself leak, you should be considered a porn star. Or at least a vain technophile. One or the other. Some of the details of the alleged pictures? Most of them are of Carrie posing, by herself, in the mirror. How sad is that? All of the sex tapes you take are just of yourself solo, all the pictures you take are by yourself in the mirror? This is sadder than porn. At least porn stars get paid, and are fueled by a hunger for cocaine. Not an obsession with their genetic lottery.

Carrie Prejean is doing a book tour, for a book she probably didn’t write about the liberal media trying to tear her down. I think the liberal media is probably concerned with people who have the influence to get other people in their sex tapes. Not deposed beauty queens. If the media cared about deposed beauty queens, we’d have non-stop coverage on Sarah…never mind.

What are the names of the tapes, you ask?

Boobs vs. The Liberal Media

Prejean, Unsashed

Your Carmex Lotion Will Not Save You

And Now, For The Talent Portion

Just look at that picture. It’s like she’s saying, “I HAVE THIS MANY SEX TAPES.” Your move, Sarah Palin.

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