A Brief Letter To Those Who Saw Paranormal Activity And Not REC

What are you doing with your lives? Seriously, what are you doing? I know you were really excited about the prospect of seeing a scary movie shot on a handi-cam in a theater at midnight, but did you really think it’d be ridiculously awesome? That it wouldn’t feature insanely annoying lead characters? Would you like a do-over? Here’s what you do.

Go to a local video store. A Blockbuster, Uncle Gus’ Movie Shack, whatever the hell you have near you. Walk in, and ask for REC. It’s a Spanish movie, but don’t let that deter you. Reading subtitles is actually an Olympic sport, so you can pretend like you’re training. If they don’t have it, merely burn the store down, and go to the next one. Repeat this process until you find it. Or log on to YouTube. Apparently, since the movie has limited distribution in the states, you can find and watch the whole thing there.

REC is probably the greatest zombie movie ever made, using the same principles that powered Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project, and countless other modern ventures into horror: it’s from the perspective of a film crew. Only the difference is, where all those movies blew, REC is one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. It was remade by American film companies into Quarantine, and of course, they made it lame. Do yourself a favor and see it now. Cause Paranormal Activity is two shrill idiots fighting about a demon. He should’ve just kicked that bitch outside.