You all might remember Desiree Jennings. She was a beautiful woman, auditioning to be a cheerleader for a racially insensitive football team. But a swine flu vaccine changed all that. It made her walk really funny, unless she was going backwards down stairs, or running. And talk like Sean Penn from “I Am Sam”. But guess what? It was all fake.
Yes, fake. All of the hemming and hawwing and talk over how vaccines are terrible and need to be tested more, mostly from the same people who say no food is safe to eat but raw food, and LOOK AT MY HYBRID CAR — their poster girl is fake. Sorry if I seem contemptuous, but I have no sympathy for people who go on national TV feigning illnesses and blaming them on a source that might actually do some good in the world.
Desiree was featured on a episode of NBC News, detailing her “ailment.” It became a sweeping hit on the internet, with remixes to UNK’s “Walk It Out”, and other such insensitive irreverence. Vaccine pundits used it as a cautionary tale; Generation Rescue adopted her as a poster child. But now, on her official website, which bears the ominous warning, “MY HUSBAND WARNED ME NOT TO GET A FLU SHOT…NOW I WISH I WOULD’VE LISTENED,” (what is this, a bad horror movie pitch?), she appears, with all her profound neurological trauma reversed. Amazingly. It’s almost a miracle. A miracle brought about by being treated by a quack doctor that used to inject his patients with urine.
And she still wants you to sign up for her mailing list.