This is the sort of innovation lacking in American industry. When you have a dude that controls the world’s supply of cocaine, and that dude leaves behind a ridiculously large and opulent piece of property, what would you do with it? Put in a goddamn Ferris wheel, that’s what.
Over 50,000 tourists a year come to the house, of which a resident Escobar refers to as “El Patron”, clearly influenced by the name-dropping in American hip-hop. I love the subversiveness of that action. Where you could take a property with a lot of bad memories, crazy times, and coke and sex parties, and build over it, but why don’t you leave it up as a monument to the time when international policing efforts were way less vigilant? The property has everything a drug lord could possibly want in a property. Close to 4000 acres, a bullfighting ring, an airfield, and hippos. That’s like a list of what a crazy person would want if he was taking hostages.
Yes, that’s right, hippos. Escobar was credited for introducing hippos to South America. Unfortunately, hippos don’t have any natural predators in South America. Fortunately, South Americans have guns, so hippos don’t really need natural predators.
Other rejected theme parks?
Stalin’s Splashland
Pol Pot Partyville
Six Flags: Casa Nostra
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