Yes, The Weezer Snuggie is a Real Thing

By Juan Aguilar on November 3rd, 2009

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It is a common misconception that Samuel Morse was waxing poetic on the marvels of technology when he first telegraphed, “What hath God wrought” to the Mt. Claire depot in Baltimore. In actuality, he was having a precognitive flash about the Weezer Snuggie, the nerdiest invention since the Anime “Hugging” Pillow. Behold:

You incredible bastards. Selling Snuggies and your music in a bundle? Truly, this is an unholy union.

Let me display some precognition of my own and deflect your critiques preemptively: I like Weezer. I like that they have been the standard-bearers of geek pride since your comic books were worth something. I like their music, and I’m totally going to steal their album on PirateBay buy their new album Raditude from a legitimate vendor as soon as I get the chance. But the Snuggie was woven into existence by Satan himself (and probably mass-produced with the aid of a few sweatshop workers). You can’t piss standing up in the damn thing and, frankly, man was not meant to be that fucking comfortable all the time.

If you care about the welfare of humanity, then join with me, the reanimated mummy of Samuel Morse, and my coalition of nerd loyalists who still rely on long johns and band t-shirts to keep our bony asses warm.