Things Glenn Beck Looks Like

Recently, I saw another clip of Glenn Beck’s histrionics, and it made me realize, Glenn Beck looks like a lot of things. And this is a list of them:

The Entire Tetraodontidae Fish Family

If they wore suits. Just pick one, it doesn’t need to be specific.

A Man Who Is Really Excited About Model Trains

I think maybe that’s why he loves playing with toys on the air.

Source

He Would Be Way More Comfortable In Overalls

Just look at that face. Studios just constrain him. Overalls would be his home.

Your High School Astronomy Teacher

Because he was really excitable and cried a lot, too. Because he loved comets. So much.

The Captain of a Civil War Re-Enactment

Why don’t you take this as seriously as he does?

He Lost His Puppy, And Wants You To Get Into His Van

Don’t be afraid.

A Man Who Drinks A Lot

Source

And apparently, he did.

J. Jonah Jameson, Before The Gastric Bypass

He’s who I’d imagine would play Peter Parker’s boss, if a more legitimate actor wasn’t already playing the part.

He Just Wants To Talk To You About Insurance

Seriously, you can’t pass up this opportunity.

A Lesbian

A bit insulting to lesbians, but all he needs is a bit of boobage.

A Third-Base Coach

He waves his arms enough, and has the doughy, “I used to play sports in ‘77″ look.

A Librarian

When he puts on his glasses, he’s about to recommend you read Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul. Or Twilight. They’re amazing books that resonate with him.