Recently, I saw another clip of Glenn Beck’s histrionics, and it made me realize, Glenn Beck looks like a lot of things. And this is a list of them:
The Entire Tetraodontidae Fish Family
If they wore suits. Just pick one, it doesn’t need to be specific.
A Man Who Is Really Excited About Model Trains
I think maybe that’s why he loves playing with toys on the air.
He Would Be Way More Comfortable In Overalls
Just look at that face. Studios just constrain him. Overalls would be his home.
Your High School Astronomy Teacher
Because he was really excitable and cried a lot, too. Because he loved comets. So much.
The Captain of a Civil War Re-Enactment
Why don’t you take this as seriously as he does?
He Lost His Puppy, And Wants You To Get Into His Van
Don’t be afraid.
A Man Who Drinks A Lot
And apparently, he did.
J. Jonah Jameson, Before The Gastric Bypass
He’s who I’d imagine would play Peter Parker’s boss, if a more legitimate actor wasn’t already playing the part.
He Just Wants To Talk To You About Insurance
Seriously, you can’t pass up this opportunity.
A Lesbian
A bit insulting to lesbians, but all he needs is a bit of boobage.
A Third-Base Coach
He waves his arms enough, and has the doughy, “I used to play sports in ‘77″ look.
A Librarian
When he puts on his glasses, he’s about to recommend you read Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul. Or Twilight. They’re amazing books that resonate with him.
Comments
foxsux
November 3rd, 2009 - 4:48:33 PM
right.on.the.money
Mark Lorenz
November 3rd, 2009 - 4:59:42 PM
Thank you, dear friend. For recognizing the humor before the inevitable backlash.
luke
November 4th, 2009 - 10:16:50 AM
example no. 1, as they say, right.on.the.money
Vince
December 10th, 2009 - 2:00:11 PM
What an inteligent bunch of people. Now I know what you're thinking, I misspelled a word. Actually I'm giving you a "l" now so you can try and go buy a life, but you're probably thinking you can only buy vowels.