Yes. You read correctly. In an effort to combat the ever-spreading, over-hyped, barely-lethal Swine Flu, Ukraine has decided to close their schools. Not just a certain block of them, every single school. Every single one. Prompting me to wonder, where was Swine Flu when I needed it?
This is the sort of situation that spawns future world leaders. I’m just imagining a panicked Ukrainian student who has a major project due, and the relief on his face when his mother comes in and tells him that the swine flu has shut down his school. Then his worry, when he is concerned about classmates, all ill from the swine flu. Then his mother tells him that only 40 people in the entire country have died of swine flu, and he is greatly assuaged. Then confused, at the management of his government. His mother agrees to give him extra tutoring, and he grows up to be KING OF UKRAINIA.
But in seriousness, it’s not just the schools that have been shut down by the government. Also, cinemas, food markets, and nightclubs in the western part of the country.
“But mama, why is it that we cannot get food to eat today?”
“Because, sweetie. The pigs cough on us. Let’s hope it’ll end soon.”
This is how zombie movies start. And I wouldn’t be surprised if someone is pitching that RIGHT NOW.