How ridiculous is it? Well, it’s so ridiculous, it almost makes Adam Lambert’s cover LOOK GOOD. Almost. But with one key difference. Chris Brown’s people tried super hard but came up short, instead of not putting in any effort at all.
There it is. Look at it. These are the artists we’re regaled with. I have no idea what this album is trying to sell me. Are they saying the music’ll be like a futuristic man, holding a graffiti can, spraying leftover remnants of Paula Abdul’s solo career in the eighties? Are they saying the music’ll sound like a dude dressed like leprechaun? I’m not sure. Let’s break down the things that are wrong with this picture.
He’s Holding A Guitar
Last time I checked, Chris Brown didn’t have any instrument cred. Which makes it weird that he’s holding a guitar in his hands like he’s just used it as a shotgun or a club. Maybe he has. Against an unsuspecting lady. Also, it looks like the guitar was shooped in. What was he holding before, a gigantic sex toy?
He’s Decked Out In Metal Adornments
Hey, Chris, you know what’d be really en vogue? Let’s make you look like a Christmas Tree. That’s what your fans would want. Or like you’re wearing armor. You know, it makes you look tough. Really, it does. Also, it will defend you, in case you want to attack unsuspecting women.
He’s Spray Painting A Badly Photoshopped Word
Really, you could’ve spent more than 20 bucks photoshopping a word in after the fact.
He’s Orbiting The Earth
Either because he’s an artist who is out of this world. Or because there are no cops in space.
There Are Badly Animated Things At The Bottom Of This Picture
Who are they? Are they caricatures of the people closest to Brown? His attorneys? Hustlers from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Paula Abdul? I have no idea. But they’ll probably appeal to his main fan-base. They still watch cartoons every Saturday.
He’s Trying To Act Suave
I think after you’ve been arrested for beating a woman senselessly, it’s kinda hard to act cool. I mean, word is out. You’re pretty much socially disabled.