How ridiculous is it? Well, it’s so ridiculous, it almost makes Adam Lambert’s cover LOOK GOOD. Almost. But with one key difference. Chris Brown’s people tried super hard but came up short, instead of not putting in any effort at all.
There it is. Look at it. These are the artists we’re regaled with. I have no idea what this album is trying to sell me. Are they saying the music’ll be like a futuristic man, holding a graffiti can, spraying leftover remnants of Paula Abdul’s solo career in the eighties? Are they saying the music’ll sound like a dude dressed like leprechaun? I’m not sure. Let’s break down the things that are wrong with this picture.
He’s Holding A Guitar
Last time I checked, Chris Brown didn’t have any instrument cred. Which makes it weird that he’s holding a guitar in his hands like he’s just used it as a shotgun or a club. Maybe he has. Against an unsuspecting lady. Also, it looks like the guitar was shooped in. What was he holding before, a gigantic sex toy?
He’s Decked Out In Metal Adornments
Hey, Chris, you know what’d be really en vogue? Let’s make you look like a Christmas Tree. That’s what your fans would want. Or like you’re wearing armor. You know, it makes you look tough. Really, it does. Also, it will defend you, in case you want to attack unsuspecting women.
He’s Spray Painting A Badly Photoshopped Word
Really, you could’ve spent more than 20 bucks photoshopping a word in after the fact.
He’s Orbiting The Earth
Either because he’s an artist who is out of this world. Or because there are no cops in space.
There Are Badly Animated Things At The Bottom Of This Picture
Who are they? Are they caricatures of the people closest to Brown? His attorneys? Hustlers from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Paula Abdul? I have no idea. But they’ll probably appeal to his main fan-base. They still watch cartoons every Saturday.
He’s Trying To Act Suave
I think after you’ve been arrested for beating a woman senselessly, it’s kinda hard to act cool. I mean, word is out. You’re pretty much socially disabled.
Comments
GUEST
November 2nd, 2009 - 7:33:05 PM
BOY YOU ARE SO JEALOUS. GET OVER YOUSELF AND GET A LIFE.
1
screwyoumark
November 2nd, 2009 - 7:33:30 PM
Oh, gawd. It's your writing again. But feel free to base on Chris Brown. He actually deserves rough treatment no matter what he's doing, where he's going. That being said, don't wet your diaper. The cover can only suggest that glamsylistic type covers may actually be making a comeback.
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momo
November 2nd, 2009 - 7:39:44 PM
first off thats an awesome picture second awesome sign of graffiti third he is tellin ppl that this is his music and dude stop basing the whole thing like he is terrible
3
CelticMairin
November 2nd, 2009 - 9:01:48 PM
What an amazingly shallow article and not worth the time and space! Aside from the fact that Chris Brown is a major F++k-wit, what is the big deal about album covers? Who cares? It's easy enough to change the picture if it bothers the artistically discerning few. The majority of people are more interested in the music quality inside than checking out the graphic details of the cover.
4
Wal
November 2nd, 2009 - 9:06:06 PM
wow, shut the hell up. You're turning green, Markie boy.
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Linguo
November 2nd, 2009 - 9:06:13 PM
I don't like Chris Brown and agree that this is a powerfully tacky image, but you're your own worst enemy, Mark, right after the editor who let "shooped" slip by. And let you say "regaled" in such a painfully wrong way. And "animated." There is something deeply ironic about you guys criticizing this cover on the grounds that it's trying too hard. Does this site even have an editor? Hello? Beuller?
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Muscle Force Max
November 2nd, 2009 - 9:18:35 PM
i like chris all shows and i ready to new album..... http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-bin/showa.cgi?C=2145820
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kajdbhsh
November 2nd, 2009 - 9:56:11 PM
dude, do you even have a life?
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Mark Lorenz
November 3rd, 2009 - 1:12:01 AM
Shooped is slang for photoshopped. Regaled is a transitive verb. Your real qualm should be I ended a sentence with a preposition.
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Dean
November 3rd, 2009 - 6:11:08 AM
omg dude get a life i took about 1 minute to type this u probably took a day to type up hw u h8 an album cover? lmao! u sad little man + the cover is reeealy good id like to see yu make 1 better? u DICK!
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geezlouise
November 3rd, 2009 - 2:19:20 PM
At least Adam Lambert's cover is pretty.
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Linda
November 3rd, 2009 - 4:10:53 PM
So, just how much time DO you spend looking at album covers anyway? Were you planning to frame it?
12
seku
November 3rd, 2009 - 5:08:21 PM
Mr markie u would be one of those animated creatures at the BOTTOM of the cover, gettin sprayed like roaches. That man still gettin money whether u like it or not. Let's see u come up with something better to put on the album cover and maybe u can be paid too and quit being all butt hurt about someone else's work.
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Mark Lorenz
November 4th, 2009 - 12:32:03 AM
Money doesn't equal quality. Unless you're a gold-digger. In which case, dig on.
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RoRo
November 4th, 2009 - 8:08:32 AM
Not a Chris Brown fan, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with this album cover. It's creative and artistic. There must be something else to report on...
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seku
November 4th, 2009 - 2:18:54 PM
like i said... lets see u do it better Mr. Mark the Great. BTW i hold my own boo, get it together hater.
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